When does mediation really start?

People generally believe that mediation begins when all interested parties meet in the mediation room and take their place at the mediation table. The truth is that mediation begins when the disputing parties agree to participate in a private mediation or when the Court notifies them to appear in a mandatory mediation session.

This pre-mediation phase is frequently overlooked and underestimated because of the potential power it has over the outcome of a mediation session.

Would you act in a play without doing a dress rehearsal? The answer is obviously no. "However, people enter mediation every day with little or no preparation for what could be one of the most important days of their lives. This is even more significant when you consider that the decisions made During mediation they can have critical life-changing effects not only on disputants, but also on their families.

Why is the lack of extensive preparation for mediation so frequent?

One reason is that while we have all seen frequent television portrayals and movies of litigation and court trials, mediation is a relatively unfamiliar form of dispute resolution for most people. The need to prepare witnesses and clients for the trial and statements is widely expected and accepted, while detailed pre-mediation preparation and training receive little attention and are much less important. The result is that people attend mediation sessions unprepared to deal with the dynamics of mediation and decisions that will dramatically affect their future and well-being.

Another reason is that professionals who assist mediating parties are often very familiar with the mediation process. Understandably, it is easy for them to overlook the fact that mediating parties, who are unfamiliar with the process, can be overwhelmed by the many challenges inherent in a mediation session. This is especially true when emotions are activated and tensions rise. Thinking clearly in a charged atmosphere is difficult. Successfully managing emotional fall potential is a key area that professional Mediator training is designed to address.

Other landmines awaiting disputants include lack of relevant documentation, unorganized documentation, not understanding the importance of important documents, losing focus during the session, and not being prepared to "tell your side of the story" in a way. clear, concise and persuasive. These are all issues that can be addressed in pre-mediation preparation.

Experience shows that when asked about their mediation experience, people often respond that they wish they had been better prepared. And, they report, if they had received more in-depth training, they feel they would have had better results at the mediation table. In fact, a common response after mediation is: "I just wanted to end it all at once. I felt pressured and felt overwhelmed."

If you are a disputed party targeting mediation, "just wanting to end this," you are selling short. Mediation is your opportunity to be heard and actively participate in creating a resolution that works for you and meets your needs. Increase your chances of success in mediation by making sure you receive the detailed and in-depth preparation you deserve. Professional mediation coaching can prepare you to help direct your mediation to the win-win proposition.