Saturday, May 2, 2020

Counseling for a successful marriage



When two people meet and believe they are soulmates, it may seem to the couple that nothing will come between them. However, many things can dissolve a marriage, including financial problems, child deaths, infidelity, and even just disinterest. To help you prepare and maintain a marriage, you may want to consider couples counseling before or even during your marriage.

Often called premarital counseling, many couples choose to meet with a counselor when they are engaged or seriously consider the next step. While many people believe they already know everything there is to know about the other person, a counselor doesn't just help you with that. There are a number of upcoming "couple" issues that premarital counseling can help you plan for.

First, a premarital counselor will likely focus primarily on finances. It is good to know before marriage if one member of the couple goes shopping for shoes once a month, or if the other member insists on buying a new set of luxury golf clubs each year. An off-balance method of splitting finances can put a lot of stress on the relationship. Therefore, it can be good to budget with an advisor so that both of you know what to expect once you get married.

Then a counselor can also guide you through future planning. You may want to analyze how many children you both want and when you want to have them. Also, does any member of the couple plan to live abroad someday? Finally, an important point of discussion is in-laws. Where will you spend the holidays? Does any father-in-law need to live with you two once you are married? A counseling session can provide you with a neutral place and mediator to make plans for these problems.

Once you are finally married, you may think that you will be free of marriage counselors forever. However, other issues can arise like cheating at any point in your time together, and sometimes marriage counseling can help. If you are nervous about bringing up an important topic with just you and your spouse, you can choose to share it during a Counselling For Couples session when the meeting is mediated by a counselor. This can make you feel more secure by mentioning things like issues or something that you know will upset your spouse.

While marriage counseling is often handled to help prevent a divorce, neither premarital counseling nor marriage counseling will guarantee the resolution of all your problems. Unfortunately, sometimes divorce is the only option. This may be the case when a member of the couple absolutely refuses to reconcile, or if security issues such as domestic violence arise.

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